We spend our time as youngsters hunting for the one!
What a friggin mistake!! How much heart ache do we cause ourselves.
I could slate men, but anyone can be an ass! Even me!! I am no angel, jeez how I am learning that one.
Yes I have met some asses.
There was Mr Physically abusive, alcohol was his medicine supposedly, I found strength enough one day though to go enough is enough and walk away.
Mr 2 good to be true, bless him he didn't deserve how I treated him, but then again we wasn't right I know that and you know who you are if you read this, I am sorry for how I treated you, I am even more sorry that 4 years later you decided to get revenge.
Mr Cant keep it in my pants/ verbally put ya down, oh come on we have all met one. But how many of us have given up everything moved away from everyone you love to be with them, I did. FFS I honestly thought I was going to be with this man for the rest of my life. The song stupid girl comes to mind! I looking bad was called so many things, but I was so in love I couldn't see through the roses. We decided to change everything, life wasn't going well so we'd move back to Birmingham, I had got an awesome job and things would be fab. He still had things to sort so I moved back on my own. That week a good friend called me and asked how I was coping, I replied moving house was stressful but I was OK. She then realised I didn't know. He was sleeping with my best friend, and was telling anyone that wanted to hear we was over! I was distraught, I didn't know what to do. 2 days later he was due to come and bring the animals and some more of our stuff, he did and made his excuses for not being able to stick around, I saw red, I screamed at him, I told him I knew he didn't even try to deny it. I forced him out of my door and told him I didn't want to see him again. I did after my dad died, he would have dearly loved us to have been an item again but we was never going to be.
Mr current I am going to come back to later, the pit of my stomach tells me to wait till then.
Hope your all OK, I know what I am writing isn't particularly uplifting at the moment, I am doing something I have needed to do for a while emptying my mind getting it all off my chest.
This song kinda says where I am currently but from here I can only move forward!
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=Yc1R1JMTMKQ
xx
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I dont really know what to say, its some emotional reading, I have read it twice. I am so sorry I havent been there to share these times with you, I wouldnt have made it any easier, but I would have been there to take the abuse and to hold you when you needed it.
I dont know what made you do this, I can only hope I played a very small part in it. Painfull, it is and will be for some time. I hope for you it is the start of moving forward and enjoying this life.
It sounds like you have taken a new fork on your journey, it is your journey and yours alone, no matter who is in your life. I only hope I can share some small parts of it with you.
Be well and be safe. I am always here for you if you need me.
x
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